You have to wonder what he was thinking to walk out his front door with that wig on. From the neck down he’s dressed like an over the hill detective that Nick Nolte usually plays. From the head up he’s a Land of Illusion mask.

If at some point in life you need one these chairs to get up, its time to check out.

If you need to go forensic in finding your cats piss stains then perhaps you shouldn’t own one filthbag.

Would you believe I had the nerve to call a man a fag while I nursed this drink for an hour?.

Please kill yourself you attention seeking dickhead.

Might as well lease and live vicariously through someone else’s acting career since the one you own has and always been worth ‘fuck all’ in the business.

That hand, belongs to the dog. I know dog aliens when I see them. You can’t fool me God dammit!.

It’s nice to see what the Six Flags guy does in his off season.

“How could I have eaten this Shit with my I.B.S.?. It’s wrong Jesus said it was. Why didn’t I listen to him when he spoke to me from the toast this morning?…taste like sunshine though”.

“If I win ya’ll gonna wash my penis right?, cause I needs my penis cleaned.”